So maybe it's time that I actually wrote a story here. It was what I initially intended it for, just snippets here and there of things that would never grow into novels and had too much... I don't know. They just wouldn't grow. I'm very good at making up descriptions and unique characters, but my plots are always dreary. That's what I have my boyfriend for. He makes the plots, I provide everything else. Hence why I write short stories and he's going for novels. If he doesn't let me proof-read the things before he even tries to talk to an editor I think I'll kill him.
*pauses*
Not really.
It's actually sort of humbling to see someone that's taken a talent, or simply a desire and turned it into a novel. People like Brandon Sanderson I admire, because they're still sort of in that 'famous on the internet' phase. But anyway, when Andrew Clarke posted on my blog, and was the first NON-Ashley person to do so (not that I mind. :P Ashley's good enough for me!) I figured I might as well DO something. Since Ashley's really the only one who reads this, since I haven't even given the address to Mike, I'm always somewhat apprehensive about what I write. As far as fiction, anyway. I don't want to effect anyone's image of me, because what I write has nothing what-so-ever to do with my personality or what I dwell on most of the time.
When I say 'vampire', what do you think?
Blood, sexual connotations, Dracula, Van Helsing, evil, fear, nightmares, darkness. That hand that covers your mouth as you hear a gentle exhale right next to your ear, just before the pain comes.
I'm getting WAY ahead of myself here. The point is, vampires = evil, right? Well... Not the way I write. I was doing this stuff way before Stephanie Meyers started writing vampire romance stuff that, thankfully, involves no sex. Anne, arg, what the heck is her last NAME? Coulter is not it. :P So yeah, the vampire lady, she kinda set the bar as far as vampire novels are concerned. Evil, blood lusting, freakish vampires that have just enough intrigue to keep you imagining them all day, and dreaming about them as well.
Puh-lease.
When I think vampire, a huge mix of things comes to mind.
Good. Evil. Elegant. Disgruntled. Caring. Hateful. Eccentric. Stingy. Sharp. Sweet. Mean. Kind.
In essence, just like humans, but on a more powerful level. Some are good, some are bad.
Keeping that in mind, here's a story.
***
Marvael ADORED being a vampire. He got to enjoy the nightlife, he got to have his own castle, and most of all there were all the stereotypes associated with it...
The apparently 20 year old man took a certain pride in getting his vampiric image EXACTLY right. More eyeliner than you could shake a stick at, all black clothing, a black leather trenchcoat, mussed black hair that had actually taken hours to get just so, and red eyes. Yes, the eyes he was particularly pleased with. When he was born they'd been just a normal brown color, but in his mid-fourties they'd finally started to go from brown, to mahogany, to burgandy, to their current vivid crimson.
The only real problem with his image was that he got carded every single time that he went into a liquor store, but that was only somewhat annoying in the long run. And Marvael was definately going to stick around for awhile. In this little town he ruled the roost, and everyone knew it. But, on the other hand, no one knew HIM. It was for the best. The 60 year old vampire had a variety of minions that he sent about to do business for him, and he had his fingers in so many enterprises. Hotels were his latest interest, with mega departmentstores being a fading fancy. All these investments, however, were for one single purpose.
Marvael liked to experiment. He quite suited the image of a mad scientist, and in fact, insanity did run in his family. When he was young and before the full effects of this trait had kicked in, he began frantically throwing different herbs together in an attempt to find a cure. A full cure remained unattainable, but he had managed to mix together a drink that would hold off the insanity for a week per dose. The stuff tasted positively vile, but it was better than losing everything that he'd ever worked for.
His latest acheivment was that of a modern replica of a medieval castle. Equipped with wall tapestries of gory hunting scenes, paintings of nameless monarchs, and furniture that wasn't very comfortable, the vampire had completed his ultimate dream.
Time to move on to the next one.
After careful scrutiny of his geneology, he 'obtained' a person that was more or less his cousin. She was born human, and he born vampire. This nearly impossible fracture in species had been caused by their common ancestor, a vampire himself, marrying two women. One was a vampire and one was human, and both gave him children. The pure vampires married vampires, the half vampires married humans, and eventually the vampirism was bred out of one half of the family.
Suffice to say, his cousin had not been thrilled when her 'cousin' showed up, nor was she happy with the fact that she was currently unable to leave the castle.
What Marvael now wanted to know was: If the line had genuinly split, was there any ounce of vampire in his cousin at all? If so, was it possible to activate in some way?
Perhaps he was just lonely, but his cousin's presence in the gloomy castle was proving to be quite entertaining....
---
Currently Marvael was lounging in one of the few rooms of the castle that was used most of the time. There were two fireplaces heating the large room, and he was perched at the edge of a couch between them. The vampire 'perched' quite well, looking like a bird ready to swoom down upon the book that was spread on the small table in front of him. When he heard footsteps down the hall, he grimaced down at the pages, before turning his attention to the doorway.
A painfully ordinary looking girl, with brown hair and brown eyes, stalked into the room. She looked even less thrilled than usual, which was a startling feat for a human. Marvael never had managed to figure out how so much emotion was contained in such fragile bodies... Maybe he'd have to figure it out one day.
"Your cat keeps following me around, it won't leave me alone," the girl said flatly, standing just inside the doorway with her arms folded across her chest, and her feet set slightly apart.
"Well maybe it likes you, ever thought of that?" the vampire asked blankly. Why his cousin was so upset about a cat, he didn't know. Maybe the insanity ran in her side of the family as well...
"Oh come on Marvael, I know a Lahmian when I see one! What're you doing with one in your HOUSE?"
"Castle," he corrected automatically. "And how do you know she's Lahmian? You have no proof!"
"Her pupils are round," the girl retorted.
The vampire paused for a moment, grasping at straws to try and figure out some way around that.
"Well, um, that is a point. What've you got AGAINST Lahmians?" he asked.
"Look, you're not as bad 'cause you're pretty pathetic for a vampire. You can't turn into a bat or wolf or anything. But Lahmians go from human looking to a cat and it's creepy! I keep expecting her to, I dunno, do something weird."
"I resent that... But wait, if transforming is creepy, then does that dock my creepiness points a little? Since I can't?" Marvael asked hopefully. He didn't really dislike his cousin, he just wanted to do his research on her and be done with it.
"Not in the slightest."
"Oh well, too much to ask for at the moment I suppose. Eh, if she gives you a hard time, come whining to me about it and I'll probably do something," Marvael said with a sigh.
"Urk, like you could beat a Lahmian. They're more than common vampires you know! Nngh, I'm going back to my room and locking the door," the cousin muttered, and without waiting for an answer she turned on her heel and darted off.
Marvael blinked. "Well then. That's all settled now I suppose..."
******
Okay, that was pretty pathetic as far as everything goes, but I've used those two characters a lot, didn't want to go deep into detail, and was bored stiff. I'll put up something better eventually...
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Seals do not come from eggs!
So me and Mike were webcamming and he started telling me about this dream he had. Apparently he had been on a beach and he was trying to get to these ten eggs, but by the time he got to them they had hatched...
Into seals.
I burst out, "Mike! Seals don't come from eggs!" And proceeded to subside into a fit of giggles.
Me and Mike were snickering and my mom appeared in the doorway, giving me the sort of raised eyebrow look. She said, "Did I really just hear what I thought I heard? 'Seals don't come from eggs?' I can really tell you got an A in Biology..."
Because of course we had headsets plugged in she wasn't listening to the rest of the conversation and had only gotten the eggs comment. I was laughing so hard that my face was bright red, and my abs HURT by the end of things!
So yes, an absolutely hysterical moment, on only the second time that Mike's been on in a week.
Into seals.
I burst out, "Mike! Seals don't come from eggs!" And proceeded to subside into a fit of giggles.
Me and Mike were snickering and my mom appeared in the doorway, giving me the sort of raised eyebrow look. She said, "Did I really just hear what I thought I heard? 'Seals don't come from eggs?' I can really tell you got an A in Biology..."
Because of course we had headsets plugged in she wasn't listening to the rest of the conversation and had only gotten the eggs comment. I was laughing so hard that my face was bright red, and my abs HURT by the end of things!
So yes, an absolutely hysterical moment, on only the second time that Mike's been on in a week.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mike's Schedual
So, basically Mike needs to be out of his apartment by the 24th of this month. He'll be kind of wandering from his uncle's house to his parent's and then finally to an apartment near where he's going to university, if he passes his college course.
Yeah, uni and college are different over there. College makes you more likely to get accepted into university and is free, an alternative to two more years of high school basically. University is college over here.
And no, he's not going to Oxford. That's the only university most people know about. Mike isn't loaded with money...
So yeah, there's probably gonna be a few weeks when Mike doesn't have internet. Which, really, isn't that different from now. He's focused hardcore on school and I've talked to him once in the past week, and not very much because he was exhausted and wanted to do something mindless. He watched a DVD.
So yeah, I'm stressed about what's happening to him. xD I hope he passes his college course. But if he does he'll have to pay for university, and that's not going to be any fun at ALL. Thankfully my parents can put me through a few years. So I'd sure as heck better do well.
Oh, and I think we're getting a Wii. That'll be uber-tastic-ally fun. I already know of a few games that I want. Well, one specifically. Maybe. It'd better be better than it's prequel. Supposedly it's hard.
But that aside...
I don't really know what. *shrugs*
OH OH OH! xD Mike and Kelly sent out a chain letter with like, billions of Fwds. Supposedly Barak Obama is the Antichrist.
I'm like, 'Wrong! xD So wrong! So so VERY wrong, why are you so gullible?'
The Bible specifically says that the Antichrist will have survived a headwound that would've been fatal, and there'll be a visable mark. Um, Barak Obama's hair is pretty darn short, and he hasn't got any huge scars or anything.
The chain letter said that the Bible says in Revelations that the Antichrist'll be in his mid-fourties, and of Muslim descent.
Wrong again.
Islam wasn't around when the Bible was written, and it doesn't mention anywhere that he'll be in his mid-40s. Trust me, I've read Revelations a zillion times. The Bible talks more about the Antichrist in David than it does anywhere else.
xD So I'm just sort of vaguely bemused, and it makes me all the more want to change my email address and get it off of the youth directory. I have gotten so much crap from everyone. xD Same thing goes for co-op. It's like a cell phone number, I don't want to have to use it unless it's an emergency. So don't you be wasting my minutes! xD
Yeah, uni and college are different over there. College makes you more likely to get accepted into university and is free, an alternative to two more years of high school basically. University is college over here.
And no, he's not going to Oxford. That's the only university most people know about. Mike isn't loaded with money...
So yeah, there's probably gonna be a few weeks when Mike doesn't have internet. Which, really, isn't that different from now. He's focused hardcore on school and I've talked to him once in the past week, and not very much because he was exhausted and wanted to do something mindless. He watched a DVD.
So yeah, I'm stressed about what's happening to him. xD I hope he passes his college course. But if he does he'll have to pay for university, and that's not going to be any fun at ALL. Thankfully my parents can put me through a few years. So I'd sure as heck better do well.
Oh, and I think we're getting a Wii. That'll be uber-tastic-ally fun. I already know of a few games that I want. Well, one specifically. Maybe. It'd better be better than it's prequel. Supposedly it's hard.
But that aside...
I don't really know what. *shrugs*
OH OH OH! xD Mike and Kelly sent out a chain letter with like, billions of Fwds. Supposedly Barak Obama is the Antichrist.
I'm like, 'Wrong! xD So wrong! So so VERY wrong, why are you so gullible?'
The Bible specifically says that the Antichrist will have survived a headwound that would've been fatal, and there'll be a visable mark. Um, Barak Obama's hair is pretty darn short, and he hasn't got any huge scars or anything.
The chain letter said that the Bible says in Revelations that the Antichrist'll be in his mid-fourties, and of Muslim descent.
Wrong again.
Islam wasn't around when the Bible was written, and it doesn't mention anywhere that he'll be in his mid-40s. Trust me, I've read Revelations a zillion times. The Bible talks more about the Antichrist in David than it does anywhere else.
xD So I'm just sort of vaguely bemused, and it makes me all the more want to change my email address and get it off of the youth directory. I have gotten so much crap from everyone. xD Same thing goes for co-op. It's like a cell phone number, I don't want to have to use it unless it's an emergency. So don't you be wasting my minutes! xD
Thursday, April 24, 2008
NYC
So Sarah's cyber charter school was doing a field trip. We were going to go see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, so me and her and dad decided to go.
I've got to say, I didn't know a landscape could be that HIDEOUS! Not New York, the land around it! It's all just old run down industrial-type buildings, grey, dead looking grass with water seeping through it... there were some wooden electric poles jutting up out of some of the water. One was nearly broken off and the wire between it and the next was slack and sagging into the water. How increadibly UGLY! The buildings were mostly windowed with that nasty green, semi-opaque glass... Bleck.
NYC, on the other hand, was absolutely gorgeous. The sounds, the smells, the sights... So much fun. We kept within, I dunno, a half a block of times square and everything was awesome. But VEEEEEERY expensive. We ate lunch at a tiny bagel shop, though the bagel was too hard for me to eat with my braces. The deli ham we had on the sammiches was delicious though. We eventually headed to the theater to watch the play, only to find that the person with our tickets was late.
After about 15 minutes of being in a raw panick trying to find tickets, eventually someone with a cell phone located the guy in the crowd. We got our things, headed inside, and watched the play. Overall, to be entirely honest I think I liked the tv version better. The acting was better in the play but with tv you get all the neat special effects. and in the play they didn't do the sword fight! What a travesty...
At intermission we went to the bathroom and everything, and dad bought a 4$ soda from one of the MANY bars they had scattered around. The cup was small and packed with ice, but the soda was delicious. Very refreshing.
So after the finale we headed over to where the charter school had arranged for us to eat. There was some panick there over what we were supposed to be doing and where we were suposed to be standing for them to call us in and everything. But in the end it all worked out and we had supper. The cookie theyg ave us for desert was the best thing that I ate ALL DAY. Yum.
We headed back outside and there was MORE panick about where the buses taking us back were, and after that, panick because we didn't have everyone at first. We set off a half hour late.
Oh, and when we were trying to get our tickets, someone tried to call the teachers. One had their cell phone turned off, and the other one had her phone forwarding calls to the one that was turned off. So they were unreachable. xD
Overall I think it is the most HORRIBLY planned field trip I've ever been on in my life, but one of the most memorable.
On the way, and this is gonna sound really soppy, we passed the turn off to go to Newark which is where we pick up Mike when he flies in. I got all sentimental and stuff and my heart started pounding, 'cause usually by the time I see that parallel road I'm about to faint from nervous hyperventhilation. xD Okay, not THAT bad, but still. It's almost enough to make me sick.
I'd write more, because there is more about the trip, but I'm either uninspired or feeling too lazy right now. :/
I've got to say, I didn't know a landscape could be that HIDEOUS! Not New York, the land around it! It's all just old run down industrial-type buildings, grey, dead looking grass with water seeping through it... there were some wooden electric poles jutting up out of some of the water. One was nearly broken off and the wire between it and the next was slack and sagging into the water. How increadibly UGLY! The buildings were mostly windowed with that nasty green, semi-opaque glass... Bleck.
NYC, on the other hand, was absolutely gorgeous. The sounds, the smells, the sights... So much fun. We kept within, I dunno, a half a block of times square and everything was awesome. But VEEEEEERY expensive. We ate lunch at a tiny bagel shop, though the bagel was too hard for me to eat with my braces. The deli ham we had on the sammiches was delicious though. We eventually headed to the theater to watch the play, only to find that the person with our tickets was late.
After about 15 minutes of being in a raw panick trying to find tickets, eventually someone with a cell phone located the guy in the crowd. We got our things, headed inside, and watched the play. Overall, to be entirely honest I think I liked the tv version better. The acting was better in the play but with tv you get all the neat special effects. and in the play they didn't do the sword fight! What a travesty...
At intermission we went to the bathroom and everything, and dad bought a 4$ soda from one of the MANY bars they had scattered around. The cup was small and packed with ice, but the soda was delicious. Very refreshing.
So after the finale we headed over to where the charter school had arranged for us to eat. There was some panick there over what we were supposed to be doing and where we were suposed to be standing for them to call us in and everything. But in the end it all worked out and we had supper. The cookie theyg ave us for desert was the best thing that I ate ALL DAY. Yum.
We headed back outside and there was MORE panick about where the buses taking us back were, and after that, panick because we didn't have everyone at first. We set off a half hour late.
Oh, and when we were trying to get our tickets, someone tried to call the teachers. One had their cell phone turned off, and the other one had her phone forwarding calls to the one that was turned off. So they were unreachable. xD
Overall I think it is the most HORRIBLY planned field trip I've ever been on in my life, but one of the most memorable.
On the way, and this is gonna sound really soppy, we passed the turn off to go to Newark which is where we pick up Mike when he flies in. I got all sentimental and stuff and my heart started pounding, 'cause usually by the time I see that parallel road I'm about to faint from nervous hyperventhilation. xD Okay, not THAT bad, but still. It's almost enough to make me sick.
I'd write more, because there is more about the trip, but I'm either uninspired or feeling too lazy right now. :/
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Little Gamers
I love this webcomic. :) It's just so cute. It has ninjas! Aaaaand a lot of swearing. :/ But the ninjas are worth it.
http://www.little-gamers.com/comics/00001789.gif
http://www.little-gamers.com/comics/00001746.gif
http://www.little-gamers.com/comics/00001789.gif
http://www.little-gamers.com/comics/00001746.gif
Monday, April 7, 2008
Girls of Purpose
Well this year it was pretty fulfilling, I got to connect a lot better with some of the girls so that was great. I love Sara, she's so... I dunno, she's Christian but she says a lot of seccular things just in joking, like she can't help herself. xD It's really funny.
'It's like a little flu condom!'
That was my absolute favorite. She had the flu and was on meds to stop it from reproducing. She says things that I'd say just spur of the moment without being able to help myself. xD And she told me my eyes were like melted chocolate. >_> I was all like, 'Aawwww!'
So anyway, I was on the verge of tears through a lot of the thing 'cause I wanted to get married so bad, the speakers weren't even really touching on relationships with guys, just with friends in general. At one point God told me that I could just start practicing being a wife at home, like taking on larger portions of the chores and whatnot. It's a good idea. And I want to start filling my hope chest with things for when I finally am married.
http://www.pfaltzgraff.com/ecomm/Itemdetail.asp?T1=5025831
Are those not the most gorgeous plates ever? xD I figure I'd better start now while money comes free in the form of allowence and birthdays and such. As opposed to like, when I've got the new expense of paying for an apartment or something. Thankfully my parents are willing to pay for some of my college and whatnot, and my grandma's given them money for it as well. So that's one expense I won't have entirely on my own plate. (Get it? Plate? Hahahaha.... ha....)
So it's all good. Got my braces adjusted today, and got rid of the day glow green bands. Now I've got nice perriwinkle blue ones that still stand out, and are kinda pretty. I'm not gonna have the braces of fby the time Mike's here I don't think, but at least my orthadontist is doing things right.
*pauses* He's kinda intimidating. He's really quiet and has sort of a funny sense of humor that you have to really be on your toes to respond to. But he seems to like doing what he's doing and there's a lot to be said for that.
'It's like a little flu condom!'
That was my absolute favorite. She had the flu and was on meds to stop it from reproducing. She says things that I'd say just spur of the moment without being able to help myself. xD And she told me my eyes were like melted chocolate. >_> I was all like, 'Aawwww!'
So anyway, I was on the verge of tears through a lot of the thing 'cause I wanted to get married so bad, the speakers weren't even really touching on relationships with guys, just with friends in general. At one point God told me that I could just start practicing being a wife at home, like taking on larger portions of the chores and whatnot. It's a good idea. And I want to start filling my hope chest with things for when I finally am married.
http://www.pfaltzgraff.com/ecomm/Itemdetail.asp?T1=5025831
Are those not the most gorgeous plates ever? xD I figure I'd better start now while money comes free in the form of allowence and birthdays and such. As opposed to like, when I've got the new expense of paying for an apartment or something. Thankfully my parents are willing to pay for some of my college and whatnot, and my grandma's given them money for it as well. So that's one expense I won't have entirely on my own plate. (Get it? Plate? Hahahaha.... ha....)
So it's all good. Got my braces adjusted today, and got rid of the day glow green bands. Now I've got nice perriwinkle blue ones that still stand out, and are kinda pretty. I'm not gonna have the braces of fby the time Mike's here I don't think, but at least my orthadontist is doing things right.
*pauses* He's kinda intimidating. He's really quiet and has sort of a funny sense of humor that you have to really be on your toes to respond to. But he seems to like doing what he's doing and there's a lot to be said for that.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Plans for the Future.
Right, so me and Mike had a conversation on what we were going to do later in life.
I plan on being a psychologist counselor, he wants to be an author. He doesn't want me to be the primary breadwinner but I think he's sort of being sill when it comes to that sort of thing. xD He'd make a great stay at home dad, he's very nurturing.
Anyway, he's turning 19 when he's in America this year. When he turns 20 he wants to propose. O_O That is so SCARY to me. Not only will he be in his third decade of life, but I'll only be in my second and still in high school. Plus... There's not even really a guarantee that he'll be coming the year after this. It's an increadibly depressing thought, but... I dunno. Maybe I'm just making stuff up about him not being able to come. But in my mind next year I'm gonna have a summer job, and he'll be in Univeristy... It might not work out financially for him or timewise for me.
On to more pleasent subjects. Once we're happily married and living goodness only knows where, we want to have cats and a dog. One of the cats will be black and white and named Farethia, and one will be a siamese male and will be named Marvael. They're two characters of ours who really suit kitties. :P Mike wants to have a cocker spaniel because his family has two, and he likes them. I sort of want a pug, they're just so ugly it's cute! But the pets are negotiable.
We want to have two kids once we're totally awesome and can provide for them. :P And I'm like, 'Okay!'
So yeah. That's the plan. Mike wants to have the wedding in Scotland because he wants to wear a kilt for it and he'd feel awkward doing that in America. Besides, more of his family are likely to want to come to the wedding than mine. It's such a pity, there's going to be an enormous expense on one side or the other...
So yes. After all the awkward time of me being 17 and him being 20, then me being 18 and him being 20, then me being 18 and him being 21, and so on and so forth... By the time I'm 22 and he's 25 or something like that I thing I'll finally stop cringing about how far apart we are in age.
I plan on being a psychologist counselor, he wants to be an author. He doesn't want me to be the primary breadwinner but I think he's sort of being sill when it comes to that sort of thing. xD He'd make a great stay at home dad, he's very nurturing.
Anyway, he's turning 19 when he's in America this year. When he turns 20 he wants to propose. O_O That is so SCARY to me. Not only will he be in his third decade of life, but I'll only be in my second and still in high school. Plus... There's not even really a guarantee that he'll be coming the year after this. It's an increadibly depressing thought, but... I dunno. Maybe I'm just making stuff up about him not being able to come. But in my mind next year I'm gonna have a summer job, and he'll be in Univeristy... It might not work out financially for him or timewise for me.
On to more pleasent subjects. Once we're happily married and living goodness only knows where, we want to have cats and a dog. One of the cats will be black and white and named Farethia, and one will be a siamese male and will be named Marvael. They're two characters of ours who really suit kitties. :P Mike wants to have a cocker spaniel because his family has two, and he likes them. I sort of want a pug, they're just so ugly it's cute! But the pets are negotiable.
We want to have two kids once we're totally awesome and can provide for them. :P And I'm like, 'Okay!'
So yeah. That's the plan. Mike wants to have the wedding in Scotland because he wants to wear a kilt for it and he'd feel awkward doing that in America. Besides, more of his family are likely to want to come to the wedding than mine. It's such a pity, there's going to be an enormous expense on one side or the other...
So yes. After all the awkward time of me being 17 and him being 20, then me being 18 and him being 20, then me being 18 and him being 21, and so on and so forth... By the time I'm 22 and he's 25 or something like that I thing I'll finally stop cringing about how far apart we are in age.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Fine Arts
Oh my GOSH! My friend Hana went on to nationals in two things AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!
How DARE she?!?
Well, shout out to Hana for moving on in original song writing and piano solo. Or at least I think those are the two she moved on in....
How DARE she?!?
Well, shout out to Hana for moving on in original song writing and piano solo. Or at least I think those are the two she moved on in....
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Dream
I had the WEIRDEST dream last night....
Okay, I was in Mike's house and I knew it was the first day that I got there. I went into the bathroom to take a shower but there was Mike's b rother Stuart, standing in a towel brushing his teeth or something. I remember just staring at him in fascination for a moment or two because he was just another bit of MIke's life that I'd never had anything to do with before.
Well since that bathroom was taken I went downstairs. The downstairs was very airy and light and cool, and there were five showers RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. Like, the kitchen and livingroom and everything else surrounded them. None of them were very good for privacy, either....
Just clear glass, or a clear plastic sheet, or a white sheet that didn't go down to the ground or something. Eventually I picked one that had a wall up to about my shoulders but no drape, so I started showering in that one. Then Mike's DAD popped up to chat with me! He just leaned on the wall and kept his eyes focused on my face, but I was blushing too hard and was too sort of, well, weirded out to really to focus on what he was saying. The dream soon enough ended, thankfully enough.
I might write something later, 'cause I'm in the mood. A story I mean.
Okay, I was in Mike's house and I knew it was the first day that I got there. I went into the bathroom to take a shower but there was Mike's b rother Stuart, standing in a towel brushing his teeth or something. I remember just staring at him in fascination for a moment or two because he was just another bit of MIke's life that I'd never had anything to do with before.
Well since that bathroom was taken I went downstairs. The downstairs was very airy and light and cool, and there were five showers RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. Like, the kitchen and livingroom and everything else surrounded them. None of them were very good for privacy, either....
Just clear glass, or a clear plastic sheet, or a white sheet that didn't go down to the ground or something. Eventually I picked one that had a wall up to about my shoulders but no drape, so I started showering in that one. Then Mike's DAD popped up to chat with me! He just leaned on the wall and kept his eyes focused on my face, but I was blushing too hard and was too sort of, well, weirded out to really to focus on what he was saying. The dream soon enough ended, thankfully enough.
I might write something later, 'cause I'm in the mood. A story I mean.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Youth Convention
It's about time to put something up here about that. The band was a lot better this year than last, though we only sang like, 3 or 4 songs through the entire thing! Variety is the spice of life...
But yeah, convention was a lot better this year in general than last. NO GHETTO TWINKY THIGNS FOR THE WIN! That was just stupid. Though what they replaced it with wasn't a TON better. The skit was really open ended and cheesey, though I don't even want to think about how much time and effort and money people spent building those little sets.
Oh, and God told me Mike's gonna be a comforter and healer. I'm like, 'For the win!' 'cause I'm supposed to be a warrior. We're gonna have a classic tank/cleric relationship, for those of you who play MMOs.
I am very glad that I didn't stay for the all nighter after convention though. I think it would have totally crashed my entire school week, and that would be a bad thing. To be honest I thought that I probably would enjoy it when we go tback to the church and everything, but eh, common sense overruled me.
So anyway. Convention was good. The speaker was better than last year too, short and to the point and, well, a little bit random. It's all good. I don't like it when the sermons drag on and on.
Which is another reason that I like Youth Convention better than youth camp or whatever, winter retreat and stuff. At youth convention they have two days to make a huge impact on your life so everything's much more exciting. At winter retreat and stuff they can take their time to get to the really insane stuff, even though th ebands are usually better there.
But yeah, convention was a lot better this year in general than last. NO GHETTO TWINKY THIGNS FOR THE WIN! That was just stupid. Though what they replaced it with wasn't a TON better. The skit was really open ended and cheesey, though I don't even want to think about how much time and effort and money people spent building those little sets.
Oh, and God told me Mike's gonna be a comforter and healer. I'm like, 'For the win!' 'cause I'm supposed to be a warrior. We're gonna have a classic tank/cleric relationship, for those of you who play MMOs.
I am very glad that I didn't stay for the all nighter after convention though. I think it would have totally crashed my entire school week, and that would be a bad thing. To be honest I thought that I probably would enjoy it when we go tback to the church and everything, but eh, common sense overruled me.
So anyway. Convention was good. The speaker was better than last year too, short and to the point and, well, a little bit random. It's all good. I don't like it when the sermons drag on and on.
Which is another reason that I like Youth Convention better than youth camp or whatever, winter retreat and stuff. At youth convention they have two days to make a huge impact on your life so everything's much more exciting. At winter retreat and stuff they can take their time to get to the really insane stuff, even though th ebands are usually better there.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Dreams
They're so much fun. ^^ Most of the time anyway... I had one last night that I might as well write down before I forget, because I've already mentioned it to Mike and it'll be annoying if I can't remember enough to tell him about it when he comes home.
So, I was at this camp-ish sort of place. There was just a clearing in the middle of the woods, with a small shack that looked like an overgrown outhouse sort of thing that had a bed and a sink and a window at the back, facing out at the rest of the clearing. There was only one of these, and that was where I was staying. So it started getting darker and I went outside and started sort of poking around.
There was this odd wooden structure not far from my teeny little house (the bed barely fit). It looked like one of those things that you'd use to, I dunno, mount an elephant or something. It had a flat part that you could stand on and there was a ladder leading up to it. The platform was rectangular shaped and had a hole in the middle, so you walked around the edge and.... Not much. I didn't know why it was there, but I climbed up on it because I like climbing, and it was there. I was bored.
I looked out into the woods and saw a shape moving, and was quite horrified to find that it was some sort of HUGE wolf. It probably would have come up to my stomach and... Well it was just very thick and muscular looking. It didn't see me but it was sniffing arund the edges of thecamp, only just staying within the trees. I scrambled off of the wooden structure and bolted into my tiny house, closing the door and locking it. The window I made sure was locked as well, and pulled the blind. I spent a couple of moments in terror wondering if the wolf had heard the movements, because I highly doubted this was your usual timid, wild wolf.
The dream eventually shifted from me having locked myself into the little house (it can barely be called that, it was like a hotel room in the middle of the woods... And it was cold and drafty. It didn't feel safe, which was probably why I was so freaked out about the wolf. The thing was probably big enough to tear it apart if it wanted.)
Right, so after too many parenthesies, you've probably already forgotten the beginning of the sentance. Let's try again.
The dream eventually shifted from me having locked myself into the little house, to me having been locked inside it. I was sitting on the bed nervously at that point and stiffened when a man suddenly opened the door and looked down at me. A moment of silence passed before he explained why he'd locked me in, and unfortunately I forget what the reason was now.... Anyway, he said he'd lock me OUT of the little house if I didn't do whatever it was that he wanted, which was bad because the wolf was still prowling around somewhere. Only now it was day, so I'd have to go into the woods to really run into it.
Anyway, I tried to escape and after much running around and being chased, I followed this path to a HIGHWAY of all things, with the man still in pursuit. After awhile he gave up because there were too many people around and it looked bad, and he was tired. So that was that.
Then another dream started, but it was a lot more boring so nyeeh, it's not really worth telling. It involved Mike inviting some friends of his to my house to play this game called Warhammer. I don't play it but he does, and I was just sort of watching. He says it's boring to watch but I didn't think so in the dream. I had someone to cheer for.
So, I was at this camp-ish sort of place. There was just a clearing in the middle of the woods, with a small shack that looked like an overgrown outhouse sort of thing that had a bed and a sink and a window at the back, facing out at the rest of the clearing. There was only one of these, and that was where I was staying. So it started getting darker and I went outside and started sort of poking around.
There was this odd wooden structure not far from my teeny little house (the bed barely fit). It looked like one of those things that you'd use to, I dunno, mount an elephant or something. It had a flat part that you could stand on and there was a ladder leading up to it. The platform was rectangular shaped and had a hole in the middle, so you walked around the edge and.... Not much. I didn't know why it was there, but I climbed up on it because I like climbing, and it was there. I was bored.
I looked out into the woods and saw a shape moving, and was quite horrified to find that it was some sort of HUGE wolf. It probably would have come up to my stomach and... Well it was just very thick and muscular looking. It didn't see me but it was sniffing arund the edges of thecamp, only just staying within the trees. I scrambled off of the wooden structure and bolted into my tiny house, closing the door and locking it. The window I made sure was locked as well, and pulled the blind. I spent a couple of moments in terror wondering if the wolf had heard the movements, because I highly doubted this was your usual timid, wild wolf.
The dream eventually shifted from me having locked myself into the little house (it can barely be called that, it was like a hotel room in the middle of the woods... And it was cold and drafty. It didn't feel safe, which was probably why I was so freaked out about the wolf. The thing was probably big enough to tear it apart if it wanted.)
Right, so after too many parenthesies, you've probably already forgotten the beginning of the sentance. Let's try again.
The dream eventually shifted from me having locked myself into the little house, to me having been locked inside it. I was sitting on the bed nervously at that point and stiffened when a man suddenly opened the door and looked down at me. A moment of silence passed before he explained why he'd locked me in, and unfortunately I forget what the reason was now.... Anyway, he said he'd lock me OUT of the little house if I didn't do whatever it was that he wanted, which was bad because the wolf was still prowling around somewhere. Only now it was day, so I'd have to go into the woods to really run into it.
Anyway, I tried to escape and after much running around and being chased, I followed this path to a HIGHWAY of all things, with the man still in pursuit. After awhile he gave up because there were too many people around and it looked bad, and he was tired. So that was that.
Then another dream started, but it was a lot more boring so nyeeh, it's not really worth telling. It involved Mike inviting some friends of his to my house to play this game called Warhammer. I don't play it but he does, and I was just sort of watching. He says it's boring to watch but I didn't think so in the dream. I had someone to cheer for.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Co-op day
So yeah, co-op is the only kid based event that I've ever looked forward to going to after I turned ten. I've got some friends there, I like my classes, yadda yadda yadda. And it was Jake's birthday today. Huzzah! He turned 15. And he hugged me. It was sort of weird but nice.
And we do a dance class, okay? Now, there's this new kid in co-op and he's in the dance class with me, so when we rotated partners and I got with him, he wouldn't stop staring at me. It was totally creepy! Imagine me saying that in a high pitched girly voice. If you can't do it, you get the general idea. Like, eerie creepy. He has these really deep stare at your soul sort of brown eyes. As we switched off partners again he told me I danced better than everyone else, and it kind of stunned me. Thing is, he's like, 14. Very weird.
So that was my day. nothing particularly special. I think I've finally gotten mike back to a normal persn's schedual, maybe kinda sorta. He went t bed at ten tonight, that's better than usual.... I count myself lucky if I can get him to go away by 11. It's sort of funny, when he comes here his schedual is already half switched over... Jake likes Mike.
So the overall scheme of things hasn't been that bad. Co-op is fun. I look forward to it. Voila. And I think I finally discovered the main thing that makes me not like youth group that much!
It's just good clean fun. A place to go and be with other kids where you're not pressured or expected to have sex or do drugs. The sermon takes a back seat to that it seems like, so it's not very spiritually fulfilling, which is what I'm looking for. So there you have it I think.
It's also why I like youth convention so much. Very awesome stuff. :)
And we do a dance class, okay? Now, there's this new kid in co-op and he's in the dance class with me, so when we rotated partners and I got with him, he wouldn't stop staring at me. It was totally creepy! Imagine me saying that in a high pitched girly voice. If you can't do it, you get the general idea. Like, eerie creepy. He has these really deep stare at your soul sort of brown eyes. As we switched off partners again he told me I danced better than everyone else, and it kind of stunned me. Thing is, he's like, 14. Very weird.
So that was my day. nothing particularly special. I think I've finally gotten mike back to a normal persn's schedual, maybe kinda sorta. He went t bed at ten tonight, that's better than usual.... I count myself lucky if I can get him to go away by 11. It's sort of funny, when he comes here his schedual is already half switched over... Jake likes Mike.
So the overall scheme of things hasn't been that bad. Co-op is fun. I look forward to it. Voila. And I think I finally discovered the main thing that makes me not like youth group that much!
It's just good clean fun. A place to go and be with other kids where you're not pressured or expected to have sex or do drugs. The sermon takes a back seat to that it seems like, so it's not very spiritually fulfilling, which is what I'm looking for. So there you have it I think.
It's also why I like youth convention so much. Very awesome stuff. :)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
So yeah.
One of Mike's grandpas died a couple of days ago.
I think the sentance in my head and realize how increadibly impersonal it sounds. "He died."
The person didn't DO anything, they STOPPED doing something. It seems almost ludicrous to announce the fact in a sentance as simplistic and, I don't know, three year old as 'he died'. Anyone can say it and it's very hard to mean it, to get across the much more morbid connotation.
So for lack of a better, more emotional, more meaningful way of saying it, here goes.
"Mike's grandpa died of pneumonia."
Aaaand I cried. Like, a lot. Not hysterically, I just couldn't stop the tears. I've been so lonely these last few days that when Mike got back on and said his grandpa died it sort of put the acid flavored icing on the whole Fear Factor worthy cake. I've been sort of holding back tears since Friday I guess, and part of it was all just PMS. Thank goodness that's over with, the cramps pale in comparison. There's painkillers for those.
Like I said, I've been really lonely lately. Mike hasn't been on a ton because he had a new video game, then he was traveling to college and wasn't on at all for the couple of days he was there, and now he's back and gone again visiting relatives because of the death. It's just... Usually there's SOMEONE on the internet that I can chat with, but lately there's been NO ONE. It's entirely different when you're bored and want to talk and you just can't to when there's a bunch of people on and you just want to write a story on your own or something. So yeah, I've been depressed and my mom has bought me all sorts of stuff to make me feel better. Most of it's food.
When I get bored and lonely I eat like a pig, just for something to concentrate on.
So yeah, she bought me Nutella and avocados. Guacamole here I come! That's gonna be my lunch as soon as they ripen. Now that Mike's at least back at home I'm feeling better, I had my nice long cry when he told me his grandpa died. At the time I didn't know why, but since then I've decided it's because that's just another part of his life that I'll have never participated in. Another person who's known him but hasn't known me, a pretty big part of his life. The same will go for my own grandparents eventually, I think. I doubt their health'll permit them ever meeting Mike, not that they would approve anyway.
So now I'm just sort of on the mend, PMS finally being over and Mike finally being back. Now I have someone to chat with and stuff.
I think the sentance in my head and realize how increadibly impersonal it sounds. "He died."
The person didn't DO anything, they STOPPED doing something. It seems almost ludicrous to announce the fact in a sentance as simplistic and, I don't know, three year old as 'he died'. Anyone can say it and it's very hard to mean it, to get across the much more morbid connotation.
So for lack of a better, more emotional, more meaningful way of saying it, here goes.
"Mike's grandpa died of pneumonia."
Aaaand I cried. Like, a lot. Not hysterically, I just couldn't stop the tears. I've been so lonely these last few days that when Mike got back on and said his grandpa died it sort of put the acid flavored icing on the whole Fear Factor worthy cake. I've been sort of holding back tears since Friday I guess, and part of it was all just PMS. Thank goodness that's over with, the cramps pale in comparison. There's painkillers for those.
Like I said, I've been really lonely lately. Mike hasn't been on a ton because he had a new video game, then he was traveling to college and wasn't on at all for the couple of days he was there, and now he's back and gone again visiting relatives because of the death. It's just... Usually there's SOMEONE on the internet that I can chat with, but lately there's been NO ONE. It's entirely different when you're bored and want to talk and you just can't to when there's a bunch of people on and you just want to write a story on your own or something. So yeah, I've been depressed and my mom has bought me all sorts of stuff to make me feel better. Most of it's food.
When I get bored and lonely I eat like a pig, just for something to concentrate on.
So yeah, she bought me Nutella and avocados. Guacamole here I come! That's gonna be my lunch as soon as they ripen. Now that Mike's at least back at home I'm feeling better, I had my nice long cry when he told me his grandpa died. At the time I didn't know why, but since then I've decided it's because that's just another part of his life that I'll have never participated in. Another person who's known him but hasn't known me, a pretty big part of his life. The same will go for my own grandparents eventually, I think. I doubt their health'll permit them ever meeting Mike, not that they would approve anyway.
So now I'm just sort of on the mend, PMS finally being over and Mike finally being back. Now I have someone to chat with and stuff.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Why Do People Always Ruin These Things?
My gosh, I was reading a perfectly fine internet novel when all of a sudden one of the characters turns into a lesbian. Not like she'd been hiding it, but all of a sudden, BAM, there she goes and she's off snogging with another woman. Come ON! Why do people have to ruin perfectly good stories with crap like that? It was a GOOD novel for heaven's sake! It had a unique take on magic and creatures and all of a sudden there she goes, the main character's lesbo.
The same thing goes for all those fanfictions that make the two most cherished male characters gay. I mean, what the HELL is with all this Remus/Sirius stuff in the Harry Potter things? COME ONE! Harry/Dumbledore? Don't make me sick. You have no right to go off and screw around with the characters' personalities. It just seems like everything you stumble across on the internet now involves homosexuality on a ridiculous level, like the webcomics Misfile and Cutewendy. Both perfectly fine, especially Misfile, but then off the author goes. What is with this FETISH the world has with homosexuals?
This stuff goes for roleplaying too. Yaoi is gay and Yuri is lesbian, and it's VERY hard to find a person that's not totally turned on by slutty lesbian sex. There is SOMETHING wrong with this picture!
The same thing goes for all those fanfictions that make the two most cherished male characters gay. I mean, what the HELL is with all this Remus/Sirius stuff in the Harry Potter things? COME ONE! Harry/Dumbledore? Don't make me sick. You have no right to go off and screw around with the characters' personalities. It just seems like everything you stumble across on the internet now involves homosexuality on a ridiculous level, like the webcomics Misfile and Cutewendy. Both perfectly fine, especially Misfile, but then off the author goes. What is with this FETISH the world has with homosexuals?
This stuff goes for roleplaying too. Yaoi is gay and Yuri is lesbian, and it's VERY hard to find a person that's not totally turned on by slutty lesbian sex. There is SOMETHING wrong with this picture!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Bleck
I'm feeling rather depressed and lonely at the moment actually. It's small groups tonight and Lindsay couldn't come, so I have no one to talk to. And Mike is obviously in bed.
So yeah, the fight with Kelly. I sort of regret bursting out with, "What's that look for? We're getting married!" I'm totally stunned that I even said that. PMS for you. I shouldn't have gone, it was against all common sense. But I don't get any support from Kelly about my relationship with Mike at ALL! She's just always ready to correct! She's pulled me aside both times we came back from a youth trip to an amusement park and told me that Mike was clinging to me too much.
If you had your boyfriend/husband two weeks out of the year 14 days out of 365 days a year, wouldn't you let him do what he wanted? I mean, not going as far as sex, but to be honest him holding my hand or having his arm around my waist is one heck of a lot more comfortable than all out cuddling.
My mom says that me and Kelly read way too much in eachothers' faces, and we probably do. But we both sort of wear our hearts on our sleeves and there's not a ton of wiggle room as far as interpretation is concerned. I liked Kelly much more when she didn't hug me and everything. I do like the other chick youth leader, Nicole, though. She's pretty nice. It's just, they're all trying so HARD and it just doesn't work. I like Pastor Eric too, but... Liking him isn't worth going to youth group. And I do sort of wish we'd have a structured sunday school lesson isntead of just chatting. It's so unfulfilling, I leave feeling like I've wasted my time.
Needless to say I'm really missing Mike right now and can't wait for the next 4 months to pass. It seems like forever.
So yeah, the fight with Kelly. I sort of regret bursting out with, "What's that look for? We're getting married!" I'm totally stunned that I even said that. PMS for you. I shouldn't have gone, it was against all common sense. But I don't get any support from Kelly about my relationship with Mike at ALL! She's just always ready to correct! She's pulled me aside both times we came back from a youth trip to an amusement park and told me that Mike was clinging to me too much.
If you had your boyfriend/husband two weeks out of the year 14 days out of 365 days a year, wouldn't you let him do what he wanted? I mean, not going as far as sex, but to be honest him holding my hand or having his arm around my waist is one heck of a lot more comfortable than all out cuddling.
My mom says that me and Kelly read way too much in eachothers' faces, and we probably do. But we both sort of wear our hearts on our sleeves and there's not a ton of wiggle room as far as interpretation is concerned. I liked Kelly much more when she didn't hug me and everything. I do like the other chick youth leader, Nicole, though. She's pretty nice. It's just, they're all trying so HARD and it just doesn't work. I like Pastor Eric too, but... Liking him isn't worth going to youth group. And I do sort of wish we'd have a structured sunday school lesson isntead of just chatting. It's so unfulfilling, I leave feeling like I've wasted my time.
Needless to say I'm really missing Mike right now and can't wait for the next 4 months to pass. It seems like forever.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Oh come on.
You know, teachers are so biased against cyber charter schools that it's not even funny, and it really makes me mad.
So one of our youth leaders is a teacher, and about half of the youth group are either homeschooled or cyber charter schooled.
I was talking to a friend about how thanks to a new law, my school was no longer allowed to offer an early college program. BULLSHIT! But that's another story.
So, the youth leader (math teacher) was kind of listening in and he remarked a little out of the blue that sometimes he'd like to take his students and beat their heads against a wall because they don't understand what he's talking about. I sort of laughed and said he wouldn't have to do that to me, that I'd be one of the good students, and he just sort of snorted.
"I'll be the judge of that for myself," he said.
Good LORD. Have I ever displayed such a level of stupidity before to him that he decides to be insulting to me about my intelligence? He thinks that cyber charter schoolers are behind in math, though I don't know WHERE he gets his information from. I am in Algebra 2 and am a sophmore. I COULD be taking calculus if I were in a different school, but mine is just a public school education basically. The only reason we were there was because of the early college program, which has now been axed. We're moving on to something better.
Like I said, it's not like I've ever displayed stupidity in math to him so I don't know where he's basing this low opinion of me on. Do NOT insult my lifestyle based on your own personal BIAS!
People are not homeschooled or cyber charter schooled because they're rebellious nonconformists who just want to go against the flow. No, in fact, I was in public school until 5th grade, and based on lots of research my parents pulled me out. I was one of the SMART kids (take that, unnamed-for-a-reason youth leader!) and I'd get my worksheet, do it in ten minutes, and then be sitting there for the next 20-30 twiddling my thumbs. It was boring, I was sick of the wasted time, and now I have the option to finish school before noon, which I do almost every single day.
And it's not like I don't have real live teachers either; no, I can go to a virtual class where I can hear the teacher's voice, watch her write problems, solve them myself, and ask questions if I need to. Not that I ever do.
I am not an idiot.
Another reason that my parents pulled me out of public school was that mine closed. I was going to have to go on a 45 minute bus ride because we live out in the middle of nowhere. We'd be the first ones on and the last ones off every day, and both of my little sisters were FAR too young for that sort of thing. 1st and 2nd grade at the time I believe. I mean, I had issues with people on the 5 minute bus ride to school! There was one boy in particular who would not leave my sister and I alone until my mom sent him a note. I can only imagine what hell would have transpired on a 45 minute ride. I cannot protect both of my sisters in a bus full of boys older and larger than myself.
So, oh anonymous youth leader, I have basically lost all respect for you and you're about half the reason that I don't go to youth group anymore. I know I'll get into fights with you and I think I can spare the rest of the youth group that.
And this wasn't the first time he's made these comments either. Thus, I avoid most youth events like the plague. It feels far too awkward being there when there's all this tension just under the surface. The sad thing is, the youth leader is a fairly nice guy in general, he just doesn't seem to like a lot of the kids...
So one of our youth leaders is a teacher, and about half of the youth group are either homeschooled or cyber charter schooled.
I was talking to a friend about how thanks to a new law, my school was no longer allowed to offer an early college program. BULLSHIT! But that's another story.
So, the youth leader (math teacher) was kind of listening in and he remarked a little out of the blue that sometimes he'd like to take his students and beat their heads against a wall because they don't understand what he's talking about. I sort of laughed and said he wouldn't have to do that to me, that I'd be one of the good students, and he just sort of snorted.
"I'll be the judge of that for myself," he said.
Good LORD. Have I ever displayed such a level of stupidity before to him that he decides to be insulting to me about my intelligence? He thinks that cyber charter schoolers are behind in math, though I don't know WHERE he gets his information from. I am in Algebra 2 and am a sophmore. I COULD be taking calculus if I were in a different school, but mine is just a public school education basically. The only reason we were there was because of the early college program, which has now been axed. We're moving on to something better.
Like I said, it's not like I've ever displayed stupidity in math to him so I don't know where he's basing this low opinion of me on. Do NOT insult my lifestyle based on your own personal BIAS!
People are not homeschooled or cyber charter schooled because they're rebellious nonconformists who just want to go against the flow. No, in fact, I was in public school until 5th grade, and based on lots of research my parents pulled me out. I was one of the SMART kids (take that, unnamed-for-a-reason youth leader!) and I'd get my worksheet, do it in ten minutes, and then be sitting there for the next 20-30 twiddling my thumbs. It was boring, I was sick of the wasted time, and now I have the option to finish school before noon, which I do almost every single day.
And it's not like I don't have real live teachers either; no, I can go to a virtual class where I can hear the teacher's voice, watch her write problems, solve them myself, and ask questions if I need to. Not that I ever do.
I am not an idiot.
Another reason that my parents pulled me out of public school was that mine closed. I was going to have to go on a 45 minute bus ride because we live out in the middle of nowhere. We'd be the first ones on and the last ones off every day, and both of my little sisters were FAR too young for that sort of thing. 1st and 2nd grade at the time I believe. I mean, I had issues with people on the 5 minute bus ride to school! There was one boy in particular who would not leave my sister and I alone until my mom sent him a note. I can only imagine what hell would have transpired on a 45 minute ride. I cannot protect both of my sisters in a bus full of boys older and larger than myself.
So, oh anonymous youth leader, I have basically lost all respect for you and you're about half the reason that I don't go to youth group anymore. I know I'll get into fights with you and I think I can spare the rest of the youth group that.
And this wasn't the first time he's made these comments either. Thus, I avoid most youth events like the plague. It feels far too awkward being there when there's all this tension just under the surface. The sad thing is, the youth leader is a fairly nice guy in general, he just doesn't seem to like a lot of the kids...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Dave
So, a couple of years ago I came into a triangle of love and betrayal, a maelstrom of passion and...
Ninjas?
Okay look, the gist of it is that when me and Mike were roleplaying there was also this guy named Dave that we hung out on the forums with. Uhm, me being the only girl, things went haywire when both of them decided that they wanted me as a girlfriend. Well, not right off the bat.
We started out on Neopets. Then we shifted to Gaiaonline. That was where things started getting really rough. Dave had made it clear that he wanted to go out with me and I made it clear that it wasn't happening. Mike asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes, causing Dave to sort of blow it. It was a little while before this really manifested itself though.
One day me and Dave were chatting over private messages and things somehow went south. We wound up arguing and things ended with him questioning my virginity, which really sort of bugged me. It's not like I've ever even done anything provocative! So, I blocked him from private messaging me or anything, and that was the end of that.
Now,t here was this other site that all three of us visited called the Aristocracy. Dave had left it before Mike and I did because the board owner couldn't stand him and neither could we. Maybe that's where it really all started. But anyway, I checked back on the Aristocracy months and months later, and guess who PMed me?
Dave. I guess the board owner took pity on him, or he made another account or something.
So he basically asked for forgiveness and I said that I would give it to him. He seems genuinly happy with that and we're chatting casually now, just a pm every month or so... It's eerie.
I wonder why I'm letting him back in my life at all after all the trouble that he caused. Is this the right thing to do, am I making him a better person somehow by forgiving him? Or is this just going to go the same way that it did before? Say it ain't so. Dave was never the best person moral-wise and I have no reason to believe that he's improved. But I should be a good influence... Right? We'll have to see how things turn out.
Ninjas?
Okay look, the gist of it is that when me and Mike were roleplaying there was also this guy named Dave that we hung out on the forums with. Uhm, me being the only girl, things went haywire when both of them decided that they wanted me as a girlfriend. Well, not right off the bat.
We started out on Neopets. Then we shifted to Gaiaonline. That was where things started getting really rough. Dave had made it clear that he wanted to go out with me and I made it clear that it wasn't happening. Mike asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes, causing Dave to sort of blow it. It was a little while before this really manifested itself though.
One day me and Dave were chatting over private messages and things somehow went south. We wound up arguing and things ended with him questioning my virginity, which really sort of bugged me. It's not like I've ever even done anything provocative! So, I blocked him from private messaging me or anything, and that was the end of that.
Now,t here was this other site that all three of us visited called the Aristocracy. Dave had left it before Mike and I did because the board owner couldn't stand him and neither could we. Maybe that's where it really all started. But anyway, I checked back on the Aristocracy months and months later, and guess who PMed me?
Dave. I guess the board owner took pity on him, or he made another account or something.
So he basically asked for forgiveness and I said that I would give it to him. He seems genuinly happy with that and we're chatting casually now, just a pm every month or so... It's eerie.
I wonder why I'm letting him back in my life at all after all the trouble that he caused. Is this the right thing to do, am I making him a better person somehow by forgiving him? Or is this just going to go the same way that it did before? Say it ain't so. Dave was never the best person moral-wise and I have no reason to believe that he's improved. But I should be a good influence... Right? We'll have to see how things turn out.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Dancing
So my little sister does ballroom dancing, and every once in awhile there'll be a dance competition on TV in high def and we'll sort of congregate in the livingroom to watch. It's sort of fun when the songs are half decent. I just think the couples that put on crazy costumes and do something particularly unique are insane. They always win because they're different and it's sort of annoying. Wait for it, one of these days everyone will do one of those costume routines and the judges won't know what to do.
I'd be good at ballroom dancing.
But I'd never stick with it. Skills like that or an instrument I've never been good at really clinging to. I've played guitar, violin, piano, I've taken modeling classes, photography classes.... Meh. I suck at perserverence or something I guess.
Tomorrow I've got a load of tests in school. I'm like, "Oh joy." And not quite sure fi I'm going to bother doing them all. That day, I mean, not in general.
And I've reaffirmed the fact that I suck at bowling, it's what we did instead of co-op on Tuesday. Oh well. Everyone laughs at the way I bowl. I just sort of throw the ball down the lane, turn my back, and head over to the table where everyone else is sitting. I don't really care where the ball hits, I'd rather be talking to my friends than breaking my wrist. One of my friends bowls and was trying to give me pointers, saying 'bend down!' and stuff like that. I tried and apparently it wasn't good enough for him, but oh well. So my incompetency at bowling shall remain.
Meh. So life is alright at the moment. Have finally gone through a day without using a kleenex.
And, by the way, I read 'New Moon'. It's the sequal to Twilight. I.... Am of mixed feelings about the book. A vampire romance is a very easy thing to mess up, but I'm increadibly desperate for something that's not all blood and sex. Anne Rice disgusts me and Dracula has sexual undertones no matter how you look at it. Though personally I do adore 'Dracula'. One of the more fun books that I've read. So, yeah, Twilight and New Moon aren't /that/ bad, but I can't help but feel a little bit put off by the fact that it's so much about romance. The action in it is nice and all, I sort of like the Volunti or whoever they are. Edward I would hate because he's more stubborn than I am (He's had more years of practice). I'd like Alice though, she's the sort of person I could just abber on with endlessly. Of course, this doesn't mean much to anyone reading this unless they've also read the books, which is highly doubtful. Both that someone's reading this and the possibility that they've read the books.
I've read a lot of stuff, from the Pendragon series to The Space Trilogy to Terry Prachett to... I don't know, some fairly obscure authors that no one's ever heard of. I sort of have to, since books by Michael Chricton aren't likely to stay on the library shelves for long. They've got about 4 copes of 'Next'.
But yeah, his books have too much sex in them also. I don't need to know that having sex with a gym trainer makes you feel fat, thanks. I just liked Jurassic Park enough that I got into his other books as well, sex aside. Probably not the best sort of thing for a teenaged girl to be reading, but that's not all there is in those books.
Thinking of which, I should REALLY get started on 'Mistborn'. Our library books are already overdue I think. Three weeks goes by fast, eh?
I'd be good at ballroom dancing.
But I'd never stick with it. Skills like that or an instrument I've never been good at really clinging to. I've played guitar, violin, piano, I've taken modeling classes, photography classes.... Meh. I suck at perserverence or something I guess.
Tomorrow I've got a load of tests in school. I'm like, "Oh joy." And not quite sure fi I'm going to bother doing them all. That day, I mean, not in general.
And I've reaffirmed the fact that I suck at bowling, it's what we did instead of co-op on Tuesday. Oh well. Everyone laughs at the way I bowl. I just sort of throw the ball down the lane, turn my back, and head over to the table where everyone else is sitting. I don't really care where the ball hits, I'd rather be talking to my friends than breaking my wrist. One of my friends bowls and was trying to give me pointers, saying 'bend down!' and stuff like that. I tried and apparently it wasn't good enough for him, but oh well. So my incompetency at bowling shall remain.
Meh. So life is alright at the moment. Have finally gone through a day without using a kleenex.
And, by the way, I read 'New Moon'. It's the sequal to Twilight. I.... Am of mixed feelings about the book. A vampire romance is a very easy thing to mess up, but I'm increadibly desperate for something that's not all blood and sex. Anne Rice disgusts me and Dracula has sexual undertones no matter how you look at it. Though personally I do adore 'Dracula'. One of the more fun books that I've read. So, yeah, Twilight and New Moon aren't /that/ bad, but I can't help but feel a little bit put off by the fact that it's so much about romance. The action in it is nice and all, I sort of like the Volunti or whoever they are. Edward I would hate because he's more stubborn than I am (He's had more years of practice). I'd like Alice though, she's the sort of person I could just abber on with endlessly. Of course, this doesn't mean much to anyone reading this unless they've also read the books, which is highly doubtful. Both that someone's reading this and the possibility that they've read the books.
I've read a lot of stuff, from the Pendragon series to The Space Trilogy to Terry Prachett to... I don't know, some fairly obscure authors that no one's ever heard of. I sort of have to, since books by Michael Chricton aren't likely to stay on the library shelves for long. They've got about 4 copes of 'Next'.
But yeah, his books have too much sex in them also. I don't need to know that having sex with a gym trainer makes you feel fat, thanks. I just liked Jurassic Park enough that I got into his other books as well, sex aside. Probably not the best sort of thing for a teenaged girl to be reading, but that's not all there is in those books.
Thinking of which, I should REALLY get started on 'Mistborn'. Our library books are already overdue I think. Three weeks goes by fast, eh?
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Fellowship Group
So my church does a fellowship group at my house. The pastor comes over and a couple of other families. My friend Lindsay comes over and we chat up in my room. We came downstairs when it was time for her to leave and my mom laughed when she saw us, saying it was funny to listen to us talk going a million miles an hour and laughing together.
I didn't think we were that loud!
But oh well. Wanted to organize a sleepover but didn't, I'm not that disappointed though. Tomorrow's Presidents' day s we don't have to do school. I probably will do something anyway, or at least log on and make it look like I did. Bad me.
So everyone's gone now and the house is quiet in general. Tis nice.
I didn't think we were that loud!
But oh well. Wanted to organize a sleepover but didn't, I'm not that disappointed though. Tomorrow's Presidents' day s we don't have to do school. I probably will do something anyway, or at least log on and make it look like I did. Bad me.
So everyone's gone now and the house is quiet in general. Tis nice.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Cancelled again
Co-op got cancelled again. Urk. I'm getting a little sick of this.
Anyway, I figured I had better make a post, and it's a holiday anyway. Gives me a half decent excuse, and I do mean half decent. It's Valentine's day everybody, go kiss a baby!
Maybe not. I.... Can honestly say that I do not care one whit about this holiday. If you need a reason to tell someone you love them or give them a gift I think you've got issues. But it is nice to be on the receiving end. :P I already know what the boyfriend is getting me, thanks to some educated guessology and, well, basically /asking/. He gets me jewelry from Alchemy Gothic, a gothy pewter company sort of thing from the UK. Since he lives in Scotland, he has acess to this stuff. It. Is. Not. Fair.
I'm definately not goth by any stretch of the imagination, but I do like jewelry with bats and spiders and stuff. And pewter doesn't tarnish, so it's all good. He's threatened to buy me a gothy shirt once, the boyfriend I mean. I think he is INSANE. I look aweful in black. >_>;; I'm more angelic than that.
*hears a myriad of sniggering from various friends*
Yes, well, I'm in a transitional stage. Gimme a break.
So I seem to talk about Mike (boyfriend) a lot. It's safe to say that quite a bit of my life circles around him and vice versa. I mean, school's involved in there too for the both of us, but school isn't fun, you know? It's just something that's not unique, everyone has to go or do it to some extent. It's not special. Mike is. :P
I realize that it must be increadinbly awkward for anybody reading this, because they probably couldn't care less about my relationships. xD But this is a nice place to rant and talk and basically ramble, so nyeh. They can deal.
In other news, I'm advancing through my Sryth game quite nicely now. I can kill things, go me! I like browser based fantasy games, because I don't have to download anything nd feel all commited. I can quit these any time I like and no one's going to whine at me if I do, because they're not interractive. I used to play Maplestory, but eh, I'm not sure what happened there. I just hit a spot where my characters weren't leveling very quickly and got sort of bored. I might start it up again, but right now we don't have a machine that's overly capable of handling it without sounding like it's about to take off, know what I mean?
But anyway, don't play Sryth if you internet isn't less than high speed. Lots of refreshing.
Currently Reading: . . . Some Terry Prachett book. I forget which one. They're all beginning to blend together.... I lied about Mistborn. It's still on the to do list.
Listening To: Anything I can get my hands on. Right now I'm not picky.
Health: Improving
Mood: Creative, excited, impatient
Watching: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Anyway, I figured I had better make a post, and it's a holiday anyway. Gives me a half decent excuse, and I do mean half decent. It's Valentine's day everybody, go kiss a baby!
Maybe not. I.... Can honestly say that I do not care one whit about this holiday. If you need a reason to tell someone you love them or give them a gift I think you've got issues. But it is nice to be on the receiving end. :P I already know what the boyfriend is getting me, thanks to some educated guessology and, well, basically /asking/. He gets me jewelry from Alchemy Gothic, a gothy pewter company sort of thing from the UK. Since he lives in Scotland, he has acess to this stuff. It. Is. Not. Fair.
I'm definately not goth by any stretch of the imagination, but I do like jewelry with bats and spiders and stuff. And pewter doesn't tarnish, so it's all good. He's threatened to buy me a gothy shirt once, the boyfriend I mean. I think he is INSANE. I look aweful in black. >_>;; I'm more angelic than that.
*hears a myriad of sniggering from various friends*
Yes, well, I'm in a transitional stage. Gimme a break.
So I seem to talk about Mike (boyfriend) a lot. It's safe to say that quite a bit of my life circles around him and vice versa. I mean, school's involved in there too for the both of us, but school isn't fun, you know? It's just something that's not unique, everyone has to go or do it to some extent. It's not special. Mike is. :P
I realize that it must be increadinbly awkward for anybody reading this, because they probably couldn't care less about my relationships. xD But this is a nice place to rant and talk and basically ramble, so nyeh. They can deal.
In other news, I'm advancing through my Sryth game quite nicely now. I can kill things, go me! I like browser based fantasy games, because I don't have to download anything nd feel all commited. I can quit these any time I like and no one's going to whine at me if I do, because they're not interractive. I used to play Maplestory, but eh, I'm not sure what happened there. I just hit a spot where my characters weren't leveling very quickly and got sort of bored. I might start it up again, but right now we don't have a machine that's overly capable of handling it without sounding like it's about to take off, know what I mean?
But anyway, don't play Sryth if you internet isn't less than high speed. Lots of refreshing.
Currently Reading: . . . Some Terry Prachett book. I forget which one. They're all beginning to blend together.... I lied about Mistborn. It's still on the to do list.
Listening To: Anything I can get my hands on. Right now I'm not picky.
Health: Improving
Mood: Creative, excited, impatient
Watching: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Learner's Permit
So I finally snagged one. I felt so crappy that day and just couldn't get hydrated through like, the whole thing. But oh well. I got a couple of new books.
Haven't gone driving yet though. Learning in our automatic, figure it's better for general driving skills than the stick shift....
I'm feeling a load better but still have some residual symptoms of the cold. And I think I've got pink eye, though that has yet to be confirmed. Though the wikipedia article seems to confirm it... At least now I know why my contacts felt so bad. I'm in glasses now, and my bangs never dry properly when I wear them! They always hang over the wire and look all goofy. Oh well.
Think I'm gonna do the laundrey today for my mom. She usually goes out on sunday afternoons to relax so I figured I'd get something that needs done done. I do sort of want to just sit back and roleplay with the boyfriend though. Oh well. I'm not feeling particularly creative and haven't since I got the cold. Poor guy. It's one thing when both of us feel like crap and don't want to at the same time, but another when one of us has a new character they want to use and the other is like, making two sentance posts.
I'm pretty literate when I want to be. 4 paragraphs if the roleplay is good, 2 on average. 1 with someone I know very well and won't care. Me and the boyfriend put forth effort for a good roleplay when we want to. And sometimes there are even characters we use that genuinly merit a 3 page introduction. *coughShadarandRiadcough*
Well that's it for now I guess.
Currently reading: Soul Music (Terry Prachett)
Reading Next: Mistborn (Brandon Sanderson)
Listening To: Apathetic (Relient K)
Health: Better...
Mood: Eager to get back to normal life and looking forward to co-op
Haven't gone driving yet though. Learning in our automatic, figure it's better for general driving skills than the stick shift....
I'm feeling a load better but still have some residual symptoms of the cold. And I think I've got pink eye, though that has yet to be confirmed. Though the wikipedia article seems to confirm it... At least now I know why my contacts felt so bad. I'm in glasses now, and my bangs never dry properly when I wear them! They always hang over the wire and look all goofy. Oh well.
Think I'm gonna do the laundrey today for my mom. She usually goes out on sunday afternoons to relax so I figured I'd get something that needs done done. I do sort of want to just sit back and roleplay with the boyfriend though. Oh well. I'm not feeling particularly creative and haven't since I got the cold. Poor guy. It's one thing when both of us feel like crap and don't want to at the same time, but another when one of us has a new character they want to use and the other is like, making two sentance posts.
I'm pretty literate when I want to be. 4 paragraphs if the roleplay is good, 2 on average. 1 with someone I know very well and won't care. Me and the boyfriend put forth effort for a good roleplay when we want to. And sometimes there are even characters we use that genuinly merit a 3 page introduction. *coughShadarandRiadcough*
Well that's it for now I guess.
Currently reading: Soul Music (Terry Prachett)
Reading Next: Mistborn (Brandon Sanderson)
Listening To: Apathetic (Relient K)
Health: Better...
Mood: Eager to get back to normal life and looking forward to co-op
Friday, February 8, 2008
Sickness
So there's this thing going around my house. It's like a cold with a headache and a fever, LOTS and LOTS of sneezing. I counted six in a row for myself last time. Talk about aweful. I think I'm gonna skip school today, and I have to be feeling REALLY aweful for that. I almst passed out when brushing my hair this morning. And I could barely get pills down. I also got a tetnis shot yesterday as part of the physical I need to get my learner's permit, and my arm is now sore and a little purple.
Hopefully I'll feel better once the meds kick in, but as I'm feeling pessemistic today I sort of doubt it. My mom was helpful in bringing me a cup of water after I staggered back to my room from the bathroom. I'm very glad I didn't try to go down the steps. I would've fallen.
Hopefully I'll feel better once the meds kick in, but as I'm feeling pessemistic today I sort of doubt it. My mom was helpful in bringing me a cup of water after I staggered back to my room from the bathroom. I'm very glad I didn't try to go down the steps. I would've fallen.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The First Entry
I've got a couple of friends who do blogging, and I guess I just felt inspired. That, or really REALLY bored.
Hi. My name's Jen. And that's all you're gonna learn about me.
But really. I've had the talk about not sharing information online so many times it's not even funny. So have my younger sisters. I guess it's all sort of redundant to me now... I met my boyfriend online. I roleplay and I met him several years ago on a little site called Neopets. We ran into eachother on the forums several times, then started private messaging eachother, and then finally we started going out. Though 'going out' isn't the most accurate description of what it is we do.
Needless to say he and I are very commited to eachother, and we've been going out for a little over two years now. We've seen eachother 4 weeks out of that 104. We live very far apart. Until recently we had to suffice with just emails and such, but my parents caved and let me get MSN. Now we can use webcams and have nice long calls through the internet that don't cost us a mint a minute. Life is easier.
I really don't expect anyone to read this. In fact, I expect I'll drop it after two weeks or so. But, while it lasts, this could probably be... I dunno. a learning experience or something. It's gotta be a good thing to write down your thoughts and stuff, right?
Along with everything else. Since I roleplay I tend to like writing stories and things. I suck at plots, but my descriptions are very good according to the few people I've shown my work to. Maybe I'll post one here eventually. Probably not.
A quick shout out to my buds from co-op Jake and Hana, because they'll probably get one heck of a kick out of being mentioned. Jake will anyway I think. And another shout out to the people who make youth group pleasent for me, Ashley and, uh...
*dramatic pause*
Just Ashley actually. I'm Christian and I'll admit that my views of our church's youth group can be less than flattering. I don't tend to get along with people my age that well, they have to be older... Hence why I like Ashley so much. And why my boyfriend is 2.5 years older than me. >_>
So there's a quick snapshot of what's important to me. I seem really shallow now.... Boyfriend and friends with a somewhat scathing review on youth group. Now I feel the need to defend myself. Urk.
Hi. My name's Jen. And that's all you're gonna learn about me.
But really. I've had the talk about not sharing information online so many times it's not even funny. So have my younger sisters. I guess it's all sort of redundant to me now... I met my boyfriend online. I roleplay and I met him several years ago on a little site called Neopets. We ran into eachother on the forums several times, then started private messaging eachother, and then finally we started going out. Though 'going out' isn't the most accurate description of what it is we do.
Needless to say he and I are very commited to eachother, and we've been going out for a little over two years now. We've seen eachother 4 weeks out of that 104. We live very far apart. Until recently we had to suffice with just emails and such, but my parents caved and let me get MSN. Now we can use webcams and have nice long calls through the internet that don't cost us a mint a minute. Life is easier.
I really don't expect anyone to read this. In fact, I expect I'll drop it after two weeks or so. But, while it lasts, this could probably be... I dunno. a learning experience or something. It's gotta be a good thing to write down your thoughts and stuff, right?
Along with everything else. Since I roleplay I tend to like writing stories and things. I suck at plots, but my descriptions are very good according to the few people I've shown my work to. Maybe I'll post one here eventually. Probably not.
A quick shout out to my buds from co-op Jake and Hana, because they'll probably get one heck of a kick out of being mentioned. Jake will anyway I think. And another shout out to the people who make youth group pleasent for me, Ashley and, uh...
*dramatic pause*
Just Ashley actually. I'm Christian and I'll admit that my views of our church's youth group can be less than flattering. I don't tend to get along with people my age that well, they have to be older... Hence why I like Ashley so much. And why my boyfriend is 2.5 years older than me. >_>
So there's a quick snapshot of what's important to me. I seem really shallow now.... Boyfriend and friends with a somewhat scathing review on youth group. Now I feel the need to defend myself. Urk.
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