Friday, February 29, 2008

Battle

Preparing myself for battle... Going to youth group tonight....

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Oh come on.

You know, teachers are so biased against cyber charter schools that it's not even funny, and it really makes me mad.

So one of our youth leaders is a teacher, and about half of the youth group are either homeschooled or cyber charter schooled.

I was talking to a friend about how thanks to a new law, my school was no longer allowed to offer an early college program. BULLSHIT! But that's another story.

So, the youth leader (math teacher) was kind of listening in and he remarked a little out of the blue that sometimes he'd like to take his students and beat their heads against a wall because they don't understand what he's talking about. I sort of laughed and said he wouldn't have to do that to me, that I'd be one of the good students, and he just sort of snorted.

"I'll be the judge of that for myself," he said.

Good LORD. Have I ever displayed such a level of stupidity before to him that he decides to be insulting to me about my intelligence? He thinks that cyber charter schoolers are behind in math, though I don't know WHERE he gets his information from. I am in Algebra 2 and am a sophmore. I COULD be taking calculus if I were in a different school, but mine is just a public school education basically. The only reason we were there was because of the early college program, which has now been axed. We're moving on to something better.

Like I said, it's not like I've ever displayed stupidity in math to him so I don't know where he's basing this low opinion of me on. Do NOT insult my lifestyle based on your own personal BIAS!

People are not homeschooled or cyber charter schooled because they're rebellious nonconformists who just want to go against the flow. No, in fact, I was in public school until 5th grade, and based on lots of research my parents pulled me out. I was one of the SMART kids (take that, unnamed-for-a-reason youth leader!) and I'd get my worksheet, do it in ten minutes, and then be sitting there for the next 20-30 twiddling my thumbs. It was boring, I was sick of the wasted time, and now I have the option to finish school before noon, which I do almost every single day.

And it's not like I don't have real live teachers either; no, I can go to a virtual class where I can hear the teacher's voice, watch her write problems, solve them myself, and ask questions if I need to. Not that I ever do.

I am not an idiot.

Another reason that my parents pulled me out of public school was that mine closed. I was going to have to go on a 45 minute bus ride because we live out in the middle of nowhere. We'd be the first ones on and the last ones off every day, and both of my little sisters were FAR too young for that sort of thing. 1st and 2nd grade at the time I believe. I mean, I had issues with people on the 5 minute bus ride to school! There was one boy in particular who would not leave my sister and I alone until my mom sent him a note. I can only imagine what hell would have transpired on a 45 minute ride. I cannot protect both of my sisters in a bus full of boys older and larger than myself.

So, oh anonymous youth leader, I have basically lost all respect for you and you're about half the reason that I don't go to youth group anymore. I know I'll get into fights with you and I think I can spare the rest of the youth group that.

And this wasn't the first time he's made these comments either. Thus, I avoid most youth events like the plague. It feels far too awkward being there when there's all this tension just under the surface. The sad thing is, the youth leader is a fairly nice guy in general, he just doesn't seem to like a lot of the kids...

Friday, February 22, 2008

Dave

So, a couple of years ago I came into a triangle of love and betrayal, a maelstrom of passion and...

Ninjas?

Okay look, the gist of it is that when me and Mike were roleplaying there was also this guy named Dave that we hung out on the forums with. Uhm, me being the only girl, things went haywire when both of them decided that they wanted me as a girlfriend. Well, not right off the bat.

We started out on Neopets. Then we shifted to Gaiaonline. That was where things started getting really rough. Dave had made it clear that he wanted to go out with me and I made it clear that it wasn't happening. Mike asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes, causing Dave to sort of blow it. It was a little while before this really manifested itself though.

One day me and Dave were chatting over private messages and things somehow went south. We wound up arguing and things ended with him questioning my virginity, which really sort of bugged me. It's not like I've ever even done anything provocative! So, I blocked him from private messaging me or anything, and that was the end of that.

Now,t here was this other site that all three of us visited called the Aristocracy. Dave had left it before Mike and I did because the board owner couldn't stand him and neither could we. Maybe that's where it really all started. But anyway, I checked back on the Aristocracy months and months later, and guess who PMed me?

Dave. I guess the board owner took pity on him, or he made another account or something.

So he basically asked for forgiveness and I said that I would give it to him. He seems genuinly happy with that and we're chatting casually now, just a pm every month or so... It's eerie.

I wonder why I'm letting him back in my life at all after all the trouble that he caused. Is this the right thing to do, am I making him a better person somehow by forgiving him? Or is this just going to go the same way that it did before? Say it ain't so. Dave was never the best person moral-wise and I have no reason to believe that he's improved. But I should be a good influence... Right? We'll have to see how things turn out.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Dancing

So my little sister does ballroom dancing, and every once in awhile there'll be a dance competition on TV in high def and we'll sort of congregate in the livingroom to watch. It's sort of fun when the songs are half decent. I just think the couples that put on crazy costumes and do something particularly unique are insane. They always win because they're different and it's sort of annoying. Wait for it, one of these days everyone will do one of those costume routines and the judges won't know what to do.

I'd be good at ballroom dancing.

But I'd never stick with it. Skills like that or an instrument I've never been good at really clinging to. I've played guitar, violin, piano, I've taken modeling classes, photography classes.... Meh. I suck at perserverence or something I guess.

Tomorrow I've got a load of tests in school. I'm like, "Oh joy." And not quite sure fi I'm going to bother doing them all. That day, I mean, not in general.

And I've reaffirmed the fact that I suck at bowling, it's what we did instead of co-op on Tuesday. Oh well. Everyone laughs at the way I bowl. I just sort of throw the ball down the lane, turn my back, and head over to the table where everyone else is sitting. I don't really care where the ball hits, I'd rather be talking to my friends than breaking my wrist. One of my friends bowls and was trying to give me pointers, saying 'bend down!' and stuff like that. I tried and apparently it wasn't good enough for him, but oh well. So my incompetency at bowling shall remain.

Meh. So life is alright at the moment. Have finally gone through a day without using a kleenex.

And, by the way, I read 'New Moon'. It's the sequal to Twilight. I.... Am of mixed feelings about the book. A vampire romance is a very easy thing to mess up, but I'm increadibly desperate for something that's not all blood and sex. Anne Rice disgusts me and Dracula has sexual undertones no matter how you look at it. Though personally I do adore 'Dracula'. One of the more fun books that I've read. So, yeah, Twilight and New Moon aren't /that/ bad, but I can't help but feel a little bit put off by the fact that it's so much about romance. The action in it is nice and all, I sort of like the Volunti or whoever they are. Edward I would hate because he's more stubborn than I am (He's had more years of practice). I'd like Alice though, she's the sort of person I could just abber on with endlessly. Of course, this doesn't mean much to anyone reading this unless they've also read the books, which is highly doubtful. Both that someone's reading this and the possibility that they've read the books.

I've read a lot of stuff, from the Pendragon series to The Space Trilogy to Terry Prachett to... I don't know, some fairly obscure authors that no one's ever heard of. I sort of have to, since books by Michael Chricton aren't likely to stay on the library shelves for long. They've got about 4 copes of 'Next'.

But yeah, his books have too much sex in them also. I don't need to know that having sex with a gym trainer makes you feel fat, thanks. I just liked Jurassic Park enough that I got into his other books as well, sex aside. Probably not the best sort of thing for a teenaged girl to be reading, but that's not all there is in those books.

Thinking of which, I should REALLY get started on 'Mistborn'. Our library books are already overdue I think. Three weeks goes by fast, eh?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Fellowship Group

So my church does a fellowship group at my house. The pastor comes over and a couple of other families. My friend Lindsay comes over and we chat up in my room. We came downstairs when it was time for her to leave and my mom laughed when she saw us, saying it was funny to listen to us talk going a million miles an hour and laughing together.

I didn't think we were that loud!

But oh well. Wanted to organize a sleepover but didn't, I'm not that disappointed though. Tomorrow's Presidents' day s we don't have to do school. I probably will do something anyway, or at least log on and make it look like I did. Bad me.

So everyone's gone now and the house is quiet in general. Tis nice.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Cancelled again

Co-op got cancelled again. Urk. I'm getting a little sick of this.

Anyway, I figured I had better make a post, and it's a holiday anyway. Gives me a half decent excuse, and I do mean half decent. It's Valentine's day everybody, go kiss a baby!

Maybe not. I.... Can honestly say that I do not care one whit about this holiday. If you need a reason to tell someone you love them or give them a gift I think you've got issues. But it is nice to be on the receiving end. :P I already know what the boyfriend is getting me, thanks to some educated guessology and, well, basically /asking/. He gets me jewelry from Alchemy Gothic, a gothy pewter company sort of thing from the UK. Since he lives in Scotland, he has acess to this stuff. It. Is. Not. Fair.

I'm definately not goth by any stretch of the imagination, but I do like jewelry with bats and spiders and stuff. And pewter doesn't tarnish, so it's all good. He's threatened to buy me a gothy shirt once, the boyfriend I mean. I think he is INSANE. I look aweful in black. >_>;; I'm more angelic than that.

*hears a myriad of sniggering from various friends*

Yes, well, I'm in a transitional stage. Gimme a break.

So I seem to talk about Mike (boyfriend) a lot. It's safe to say that quite a bit of my life circles around him and vice versa. I mean, school's involved in there too for the both of us, but school isn't fun, you know? It's just something that's not unique, everyone has to go or do it to some extent. It's not special. Mike is. :P

I realize that it must be increadinbly awkward for anybody reading this, because they probably couldn't care less about my relationships. xD But this is a nice place to rant and talk and basically ramble, so nyeh. They can deal.

In other news, I'm advancing through my Sryth game quite nicely now. I can kill things, go me! I like browser based fantasy games, because I don't have to download anything nd feel all commited. I can quit these any time I like and no one's going to whine at me if I do, because they're not interractive. I used to play Maplestory, but eh, I'm not sure what happened there. I just hit a spot where my characters weren't leveling very quickly and got sort of bored. I might start it up again, but right now we don't have a machine that's overly capable of handling it without sounding like it's about to take off, know what I mean?

But anyway, don't play Sryth if you internet isn't less than high speed. Lots of refreshing.

Currently Reading: . . . Some Terry Prachett book. I forget which one. They're all beginning to blend together.... I lied about Mistborn. It's still on the to do list.
Listening To: Anything I can get my hands on. Right now I'm not picky.
Health: Improving
Mood: Creative, excited, impatient
Watching: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Learner's Permit

So I finally snagged one. I felt so crappy that day and just couldn't get hydrated through like, the whole thing. But oh well. I got a couple of new books.

Haven't gone driving yet though. Learning in our automatic, figure it's better for general driving skills than the stick shift....

I'm feeling a load better but still have some residual symptoms of the cold. And I think I've got pink eye, though that has yet to be confirmed. Though the wikipedia article seems to confirm it... At least now I know why my contacts felt so bad. I'm in glasses now, and my bangs never dry properly when I wear them! They always hang over the wire and look all goofy. Oh well.

Think I'm gonna do the laundrey today for my mom. She usually goes out on sunday afternoons to relax so I figured I'd get something that needs done done. I do sort of want to just sit back and roleplay with the boyfriend though. Oh well. I'm not feeling particularly creative and haven't since I got the cold. Poor guy. It's one thing when both of us feel like crap and don't want to at the same time, but another when one of us has a new character they want to use and the other is like, making two sentance posts.

I'm pretty literate when I want to be. 4 paragraphs if the roleplay is good, 2 on average. 1 with someone I know very well and won't care. Me and the boyfriend put forth effort for a good roleplay when we want to. And sometimes there are even characters we use that genuinly merit a 3 page introduction. *coughShadarandRiadcough*

Well that's it for now I guess.

Currently reading: Soul Music (Terry Prachett)
Reading Next: Mistborn (Brandon Sanderson)
Listening To: Apathetic (Relient K)
Health: Better...
Mood: Eager to get back to normal life and looking forward to co-op

Friday, February 8, 2008

Sickness

So there's this thing going around my house. It's like a cold with a headache and a fever, LOTS and LOTS of sneezing. I counted six in a row for myself last time. Talk about aweful. I think I'm gonna skip school today, and I have to be feeling REALLY aweful for that. I almst passed out when brushing my hair this morning. And I could barely get pills down. I also got a tetnis shot yesterday as part of the physical I need to get my learner's permit, and my arm is now sore and a little purple.

Hopefully I'll feel better once the meds kick in, but as I'm feeling pessemistic today I sort of doubt it. My mom was helpful in bringing me a cup of water after I staggered back to my room from the bathroom. I'm very glad I didn't try to go down the steps. I would've fallen.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The First Entry

I've got a couple of friends who do blogging, and I guess I just felt inspired. That, or really REALLY bored.

Hi. My name's Jen. And that's all you're gonna learn about me.

But really. I've had the talk about not sharing information online so many times it's not even funny. So have my younger sisters. I guess it's all sort of redundant to me now... I met my boyfriend online. I roleplay and I met him several years ago on a little site called Neopets. We ran into eachother on the forums several times, then started private messaging eachother, and then finally we started going out. Though 'going out' isn't the most accurate description of what it is we do.

Needless to say he and I are very commited to eachother, and we've been going out for a little over two years now. We've seen eachother 4 weeks out of that 104. We live very far apart. Until recently we had to suffice with just emails and such, but my parents caved and let me get MSN. Now we can use webcams and have nice long calls through the internet that don't cost us a mint a minute. Life is easier.

I really don't expect anyone to read this. In fact, I expect I'll drop it after two weeks or so. But, while it lasts, this could probably be... I dunno. a learning experience or something. It's gotta be a good thing to write down your thoughts and stuff, right?

Along with everything else. Since I roleplay I tend to like writing stories and things. I suck at plots, but my descriptions are very good according to the few people I've shown my work to. Maybe I'll post one here eventually. Probably not.

A quick shout out to my buds from co-op Jake and Hana, because they'll probably get one heck of a kick out of being mentioned. Jake will anyway I think. And another shout out to the people who make youth group pleasent for me, Ashley and, uh...

*dramatic pause*

Just Ashley actually. I'm Christian and I'll admit that my views of our church's youth group can be less than flattering. I don't tend to get along with people my age that well, they have to be older... Hence why I like Ashley so much. And why my boyfriend is 2.5 years older than me. >_>

So there's a quick snapshot of what's important to me. I seem really shallow now.... Boyfriend and friends with a somewhat scathing review on youth group. Now I feel the need to defend myself. Urk.