Bleck

I'm feeling rather depressed and lonely at the moment actually. It's small groups tonight and Lindsay couldn't come, so I have no one to talk to. And Mike is obviously in bed.

So yeah, the fight with Kelly. I sort of regret bursting out with, "What's that look for? We're getting married!" I'm totally stunned that I even said that. PMS for you. I shouldn't have gone, it was against all common sense. But I don't get any support from Kelly about my relationship with Mike at ALL! She's just always ready to correct! She's pulled me aside both times we came back from a youth trip to an amusement park and told me that Mike was clinging to me too much.

If you had your boyfriend/husband two weeks out of the year 14 days out of 365 days a year, wouldn't you let him do what he wanted? I mean, not going as far as sex, but to be honest him holding my hand or having his arm around my waist is one heck of a lot more comfortable than all out cuddling.

My mom says that me and Kelly read way too much in eachothers' faces, and we probably do. But we both sort of wear our hearts on our sleeves and there's not a ton of wiggle room as far as interpretation is concerned. I liked Kelly much more when she didn't hug me and everything. I do like the other chick youth leader, Nicole, though. She's pretty nice. It's just, they're all trying so HARD and it just doesn't work. I like Pastor Eric too, but... Liking him isn't worth going to youth group. And I do sort of wish we'd have a structured sunday school lesson isntead of just chatting. It's so unfulfilling, I leave feeling like I've wasted my time.

Needless to say I'm really missing Mike right now and can't wait for the next 4 months to pass. It seems like forever.